A Soldier's Prayer

Teresa Stone says her poem, A Soldier's Prayer, "was written over several months at the end of 2007 into 2008. Vashtie is my middle name and I am a US Army veteran."

In this poem she prays to retain her own peace and humanity, "Yet the guilt still fights to sway / Me away from a fragile sanity," and wonders, "Yet fear all will be stained / By the hell I cannot leave behind."

Thanks, Teresa, for your service and your poem. Please stay sane.

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A Soldier's Prayer
by Vashtie

I'm on my way to another land
To fight for what others say I must
Sent off with waves and a marching band
I struggle not to cry as I wipe the dust
From my eyes, now losing sight of you

Your smile goodbye burns in my mind
Your loving touch, my lips on yours
Give me the strength to find
The courage to serve these many tours
Then return quickly and safely to you

I pray, oh Lord, I pray
That I have the courage to be afraid
Of the things that make me human
To face those fears each day
With strength and valor from within

The miles grow between us each day
But my heart remains strong and true
To the thought of you and a future day
When I can return whole, complete to you
And find the life I've left behind

Your eternal love makes me strong
A picture of you always in sight
Your closeness, your touch I long
For in the middle of the lonely nights
As I cling to the hope of you and us

I pray, oh Lord, I pray
That I have the courage to be afraid
Of the things that make me human
Help me face those fears each day
With strength and valor from within

While the battle rages outside and within
I pray that the ones I kill are the enemy
And not the innocents who struggle to win
Their way of life, their destiny
Now interrupted by weapons of arrogance

With blood on my hands I can't deny
The look, the fear in their eyes
I hold my breath, try not to cry
And pray, reaching up to the skies
That peace will come soon and stay

I pray, oh Lord, I pray
That I have the courage to be afraid
Of the things that make me human
I endeavor to face those fears each day
With strength and valor from within

I ache to stay alive and see you again
That you'll love me just the same
And though I've taken a life
Not judge me too harsh or blame
Me for what I had to do.

My fallen comrade's face
Haunts me day and night
I stay strong as I race
With all my heart and might
To avenge this hero's death

I pray, oh Lord, I pray
That I have the courage to be afraid
Of the things that make me human
I struggle to face those fears each day
With strength and valor from within

I did what I had to do
In this land so far away
This I know to be true
Yet the guilt still fights to sway
Me away from a fragile sanity

The end of my tour is near
I'm excited. I'm afraid
I long for all I hold dear
Yet fear all will be stained
By the hell I cannot leave behind

I pray, oh Lord, I pray
That I have the courage to be afraid
Of the things that make me human
I journey on to face those fears each day
With strength and valor from within

How can I make the transition
From warrior to peaceful citizen
How can I turn such an imposition
Into a truth without criticism
Without your love to keep me strong

Take me back with open arms
Help me see the good despite the bad
Help me heal and do no harm
And turn my tears to ones of joy now sad
This is my prayer to you.

_____________

(Though Ms. Stone didn't serve in the current Iraq or Afghanistan conflicts, she was was on active duty during Gulf War I and served two tours in Korea. As an interesting aside, her great-great grandfather, Wallace Bruce, was a Civil War veteran and world-renowned poet who wrote poems for military units "for a variety of ceremonial reasons - the unit was standing-down, an anniversary, a medal awarded, etc."

In her own words, "The poem is genuine, the feelings expressed are genuine and real and my hope is that it will touch not just soldiers but allow those who don't go off to war - especially the ones we're engaged in now - to know just what it costs someone to have to do so. This war was engaged in with complete disregard to the sacrifice of so many brave, and often too-young, people." )